Here are the two posthumous miracles you give JP credit for:
- Curing a nun’s Parkinson’s disease after she prayed for his help.
- Healing a grandmother’s brain aneurysm by talking to her through a photo.
- Covering-up systematic child rape for many years.
- Relentless prejudice towards homosexuals and opposition to same-sex marriage.
- Prohibiting African Catholics to wear condoms, resulting in MILLIONS of AIDS deaths.
- Opposing women's rights within the Church.
- Riding in the Popemobile with a straight face.
That certainly is an impressive list, but I reckon my miracles are only slightly less miraculous. My top five for your consideration:
- Watching an episode of The View without mutilating my own eyeballs with a claw hammer.
- Wearing denim shorts as a fifteen year old without being severely bashed.
- Always blaming it on the sunshine and moonlight, but never on the boogie.
- Turning wine into water (urea and salts).
- Looking at Shane Warne’s latest Instagram selfie without vomiting.